I'm back from hiatus! And I have a lot of news. Things have been rather hectic for me here at my wee homestead. In this episode, I talk about the goals I set for myself in 2021, what worked and what didn't; give a detailed update on what I have been up to during my break from podcasting; and finally, I discuss goals I'd like to achieve in 2022.
Quick warning: this episode includes a frank discussion of chicken deaths, depression, cancer, and chronic illness. Please listen with discretion.
You can find the episode over on Anchor, or on your fave podcast player.
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Click here to read my blog post on my 2020 year in review.
2021 Goals
Top bar hive
Nucleus colony build up in time for winter
Mite testing. This was the big one!
Using Oxalic Acid vaporization in the Spring and Formic Acid strips in the Fall.
More time with my mentees/fellow beekeepers
Focus on health of my colonies, not the number.
In the garden: trying again with the 3 sisters garden, focusing on less plants and more space for them to grow, and trying my hand at bell peppers.
Prioritize weeding and beautifying my neglected side bed.
Spend more time volunteering at the zoo.
Chickens: buy a chicken tractor for the special needs girl, and add hens to the main flock.
Add an additional drainage ditch down the far side of the property.
Travel: visit my bestie in Canada when allowed, and take a vacation with my hubby.
Weight: reach my goal weight.
Goals Achieved
Top bar hive! I got mine set up, installed a package, and generally learned how to manage it, including figuring out how to apply mite treatments, which are usually used in vertical hives. I also reviewed some books relating to the topic and generally expanded my knowledge about how this hive style works.
Nucleus colony build up: I focused on just two colonies to build up in time for winter and was moderately successful. They were doing amazingly until a very bad robbing incident knocked them back. I ultimately had to merge colonies to get through winter but, as always, this was a good learning opportunity. Interestingly, many local keepers reported that 2021 was the worst year for robbing they’ve ever experienced.
Mite testing. This was definitely achieved! I’m super proud to report that I kept on track with testing and treatment, and it paid off. Robbing is a great way for invading bees to bring mites to your hives, and this was definitely something I saw in 2020. Despite how badly robbing was last year, I kept mite levels down with timely testing and treatment.
Using Oxalic Acid in the Spring and Formic Acid in the Fall. Another success! I really liked the impact I saw of both treatments. I feel like they did a good job keeping mite levels down, and it was particularly useful to have a treatment on hand that could be used with honey supers on (Formic acid). I will be keeping both treatments in my toolbox for future use.
In the garden: I did attempt a 3 sisters garden again and was mostly successful. I expanded the size of my corn bed, which had a HUGE impact and was definitely a success. It worked so well that I’d like to expand it again for even better pollination. My beans also did better last year. Sadly, I planted my squash seeds too late and never saw a harvest. Still kicking myself about that!
Focus on less plants and more space: Mostly! I bought just a few tomato plants so they would be well spaced but then my neighbour had extra plants that needed a home (or they would be put in the compost) so I did end up a little more cramped than planned. I also learned that indeterminate tomato plants will fill as much space as you give them and my supports couldn’t handle the weight. I need to brainstorm a better system for keeping the plants upright. Overall, I did get a beautiful, bountiful harvest from my tomato plants, which is an utter delight.
Bell peppers. I did it! Grew two plants and had a couple of small harvests from them. This was really a test to see how well they would do here in Ohio. I first grew them as container plants when I lived in Rhode Island, and had great success with them. When I tried to grow them in Georgia, they died from humidity induced mildew. I’m pleased to say they did very well here! I will probably grow them again this year.
Prioritizing neglected side bed: mostly! I did a huge clean up of this bed, managing to get about 60% of the weeds. I also removed saplings that had sprung up and wouldn’t survive there long term, cut back brush, and generally tidied the place up. I also put more wildflower seeds down, which bloomed beautifully through summer and Fall, and I added some rosemary and chamomile to the mix as well. Ultimately, some of the weeds are so deeply rooted that I didn’t have the time to get them all, and they grew faster than I could get to them! I’m hoping to continue making progress with
this bed this year.
Spend more time volunteering at the zoo. Yup! I committed to going in whenever I could and I also signed up for every weekend of the big Boo at the Zoo Halloween event. Getting back to the zoo, ironically, made me realise that I needed to step down as a volunteer. I’ll discuss this more at the end of the episode when I give my big personal updates but, simply put, something in my life had to give and this was one of them. I had a really fantastic Boo, though, and will miss all my fellow volunteers and zoo workers very much.
Chickens: I did get more hens for the main flock, and we had some big changes with Pepperjack being rehomed and Handsome joining the girls.
Travel: The husbeast and I did manage a short vacation in North Carolina, which was beautiful.
Obstacles/Goals Not Met
More time with my mentees/fellow beekeepers. Nope. I did do an apiary tour with my mentee, K, and her mentee, M. We spend an enjoyable couple of hours inspecting the hives and then just catching up. This was a rewarding experience for me. Otherwise, the pandemic kept me away from spending a lot of time with people.
Chickens. I didn’t end up buying that chicken tractor due to the loss of my special needs hens (will discuss more in the homestead updates section)
Drainage ditch. I put this on as an optimistic idea but knew my back probably wouldn’t allow it. Truth is, I didn’t even seriously consider it. I was so busy with the garden and chickens and bees that there was no time for a big project like this. Honestly, I’m probably going to hire someone in the future to do it. With the proper equipment, it should take a day or so. There’s just no way my back will let me do all that digging without punishment.
Reptiles. This wasn’t on my goal list because I just assumed I’d be breeding as usual in 2021. Instead, I decided to rest one of my females due to her having a hard time in 2020, and my main gal, Europa, suffered a broken jaw so she took the year off too.
Travel. Canada stayed locked up pretty tight so visiting my bestie was never an option, sadly. I really miss her!
Reaching my goal weight. Hahahaha. Nope. I actually gained weight. Sigh!
Unplanned/Unexpected Accomplishments
I planted sunflowers by the neglected bed at the side of the property, up against the fence, and they flourished there. This area is much more dry, and hard to water, compared to the rest of my garden beds but the sunflowers just went from strength to strength. I’ll replant this bed every year from now on!
I finally set up a quarantine coop! It’s far enough from the other coops that viruses should not be transmissible over that distance, and it allowed me to add some beautiful English Orpington pullets to the flock.
The raccoon latrine was finally dealt with! It was a hot few hours and required lots of prep due to the safety equipment required but I got the upper level of my shed/barn clean of nasty poop, and managed to close up the holes they were using to get in. I also cleaned the boat, which had been pooped in. Thanks, raccoons!
The boat is gone! We never ended up using the thing and it was extra work for me. I told my husband that we really needed to sell it or pay for proper storage. He decided to give it to one of his graduating students as a gift, with the understanding that it needs work. The student in question is always out on the water (and studies fish!) and was delighted. He’s extremely handy and is going to redo it how he wants, complete with a new electric engine! It’s definitely in the right home now and I don’t have to worry about it anymore. Hurrah!
I rescued some ducklings that were dumped by a canal in the Spring and immediately fell in love with ducks! I’d never seriously considered them for the homestead but now it’s a goal. Probably not this year but definitely sometime in the future.
Reptiles. Pandora and Europa, my primary breeding females of pink tongue skinks, both healed beautifully and were introduced back to their mates. Europa is still with Titan but Pandora has been paired with a younger male, as her previous mate was far too rough with her and was stressing her out. I have kept this male because he’s one of just two babies I kept from my very first breeding and have sadly lost both his parents since then.
I finally achieved a goal I’ve been aiming for: I successfully imported 3 baby pink tongue skinks from Europe! I’ve wanted to diversify our bloodlines since I started the business so this was a huge boon and definitely not what I expected to happen in the middle of a pandemic.
I fell in love with fiber and got back into crochet. I don’t even remember exactly how
this happened! I’m pretty sure I stumbled across a kind of crochet called Amigurumi, which is a Japanese art of knitting or crocheting small, stuffed animals. I find it much to be like 3D printing but with stitches! Each layer builds on the next until you have a lovely 3D toy. I saw a chunky bee and knew I had to make it. So I jumped right in, re-taught myself how to crochet, and fell in love with the process. Many moons ago, I taught myself to knit but I rarely stuck with it. In part because I could only afford scratchy acrylic yarn that I hated the feel of, and also because I just never seemed very good at it. Crochet seems more my speed! Since this rediscovery, I have greatly enjoyed making big and small bees for family and friends, and I recently finished a very ambitious pattern of a giant snail!
You can find the bee pattern for free here.
And the giant snail pattern is available for purchase here.
My fiber love has led to me delving into the yarn making process. I even attended a yarn dyeing workshop recently, which was so fun! I’m planning on taking classes on knitting and spinning this year, and my dream is to one day own alpaca and babydoll sheep and make my own yarn, from the shearing to the spinning to the dyeing and working. A gal can dream! I’m excited to continue learning about this topic, and I am lucky to have a great community of people centered around my local yarn shop, which just makes the learning experience even more pleasant.
Despite the absolutely insane amount of robbing that happened this year, I did manage a small harvest, and I savoured every single drop of it.
In the Fall, my husband and I saved an abandoned baby squirrel, and kept it alive until we could get it to a licensed wildlife rehabilitator.
I got an awesome new tattoo! A queen bee beneath a triple moon with goldenrod and lavender flowers around her. My artist absolutely nailed my vision and I’m in love with it. It makes me feel strong, somehow.
Before I discuss my goals for this year (2022, can you believe it??), I need to get to my personal updates as a lot of things have happened recently that will affect what I do moving forward.
Homestead/Chicken Updates
(Some swearing ahead!) TW: chicken death
Simply put, 2021 ended up sucking when it came to losing chickens. I lost a number of hens to old age and illness, many of which I talked about on my podcast. Since my hiatus, I have lost even more and each one hurt.
First, Bobby (my Easter Egger) died very unexpectedly from heat exhaustion due to extreme obesity. I’ll talk more about this in my next episode since I’ve never had an obese hen before and I’m still confused about how she got so fat compared to her sisters! My next episode will be about obesity in chickens and what to look for.
After Bobby, Meatbutt became ill and I eventually had to have her euthanized. As one of my very first chickens, I did seek vet care and nursed her for weeks. For a while, she lived in the special needs coop with Agatha, and the two seemed to remember each other. They did well for a while and then Meatbutt started to decline further so I brought her inside to nurse. Sadly, although she showed some improvement, I could not get her to eat on her own. Even with hand-feeding, she wasn’t eating enough to maintain her weight. My vet suspects she had cancer. I decided to humanely euthanize her. Before I took her in, I took her outside to enjoy the sunshine and grass one more time. I had her out in the front garden and some of the main flock came up to the fence to greet her. I really think they knew; none of them tried to attack her. They just looked at each other, touched beaks, and then waddled off. Meatbutt died at the vet’s, in my arms, before they even gave her the final shot. The sedation was enough for her poor old heart to stop.
Not long after Meatbutt, I lost Agatha, my sweet old lady. My hospice chicken. The hen we all thought would go first as I adopted her as a senior. Instead, she outlived all of her sisters. Within the first year of adopting Agatha, she became ill and I took her to my vet. We did bloodwork and x-rays, and I was told she had arthritis throughout her spine as well as a mass on her liver. We decided to treat for pain and see how she did. It was day by day with her but she always rallied. Every year, she’d give me a scare; getting thin and seeming unwell, and then she’d rally after a med adjustment and some antibiotics.
This last time, I knew when I saw her that she was done. She’d given up. I found her lying flat as a pancake, face first. She couldn’t even lift her head; she used her beak to lever herself up. It was awful. I actually took a picture of her ‘resting’ like this to remind me how bad it was because I knew I had to let her go. I did try for a few days but she wasn’t responding to meds or fluids. It was a Sunday so I couldn’t take her to my regular vet, I had to take her to the ER. They wouldn’t let me be with her when she passed; they said it was against their policy. The best they could do was give me time in a room with her. We sat for about 45 minutes, me a total wreck, Agatha bundled up in my arms while I cried into her feathers and thanked her for being such a great chicken.
I’m still really upset by her passing. I wanted to hold her when she went. Sometimes, I think I should have come back the next day when my vet would be in so that she could feel me supporting her as she went. But she was in such a bad way that I felt waiting even overnight would be selfish of me so I let her go. It didn’t help that, when the vet tech came in to get her, he said “wow, a chicken! That’s a cool animal to euthanize.” I almost decked him. I think about her passing a lot and have regrets.
I had her cremated and her ashes now sit on my mantel with Bobette and Meatbutt; the three original hens together again. I plan to get a wooden box with their names on it and combine their ashes. Just haven’t found the right box yet.
With her passing, the special needs coop was empty for the first time in nearly 5 years.
To really twist the knife, my rooster, Handsome, was killed one day in the Fall by the biggest red-tailed hawk I have ever seen (likely a fully mature female). I first found the girls in their coop, looking freaked out, and no sign of Handsome so I went looking for him. I found him at the back of the property with the hawk still on him. It flew off at my arrival and I found that it had killed Handsome quickly; either a blow to the head or a neck break. There was very little blood or even feathers disturbed.
I sat on the ground with him in my arms for a while and was so shocked I couldn’t even cry. I’ve always known that I might lose a chicken to a hawk, especially once I got a rooster, but I didn’t expect it to be like this. I assumed that it would be a fight and that Handsome would win due to his massive size and weight advantage. I forgot that hawks can kill with a fast attack and devastating blow. There’s no way the hawk could have eaten even half of him. It felt so wasteful. He was killed for what? The hawk left hungry. Pointless.
Handsome was a mix breed; barred rock and Brahma, and he was the most beautiful chicken I’ve ever seen. I sat with him for some time, petting his beautiful feathers, thanking him for all his care of my flock, and apologising that we never had the time to become friends. I hadn’t even had him for a year.
I pulled some of his feathers to keep, wrapped him in a soft blue blanket, and buried him out back with some of the old gals. There’s a new stone cairn out there now and I visit it sometimes. I’m still gutted by his loss.
And to top off this shit-sandwich of a year, I found Cheddar dead in the run after Christmas. Necropsy showed she’d suffered a massive heart attack and internal bleed. This was classic ‘sudden death syndrome’, which is usually seen in heavy bodied meat birds. Her heart was small and soft so I think she had a congenital defect. Because most of my hens have died due to reproductive disorders (sadly super common in chickens), I’d never seen a healthy reproductive tract during a necropsy before. Cheddar actually had a number of eggs in development and it was fascinating to really see what a healthy reproductive tract looks like in chickens. I’m grateful that, in her death, she taught me something that I can use in future.
So that’s all my losses since I last posted an episode!
One thing that happened amidst all this was that I decided not to eat any more chicken meat. People have asked me for years whether I still ate chicken based on my enthusiasm for the living ones. I was always okay with it because meat birds are very different from the laying hens that I keep. That said, the more I learned about meat birds and what mutants they have become under our care, as well as witnessing a truck on the way to slaughter just packed with the poor things, I’ve decided it’s not something I want to support anymore. I’m taking a Buddhist approach to it. By this, I mean that Buddhist monks are traditionally vegetarian but, when begging for alms, if given meat, they will eat it because it was a gift freely given. If I go somewhere and someone gives me cooked chicken, I will eat it. Otherwise, nope.
Honestly, some of this decision is just pure emotion. I have become even closer to my flock and really feel like chickens are so unappreciated. They’re beautiful, silly, funny, personable little dinosaurs. I’ve just lost all interest in eating them.
Personal Updates
TW: Mental health, cancer, chronic illness
Amidst all this chicken death, I have also been struggling with my depression. I’ve always been open about this part of my life on my podcast but I don’t think even I understood how bad things were going to get. I’m supremely fortunate not to suffer with suicidal ideation but I did reach a point where I couldn’t see the point in anything anymore and had to fight everyday just to get up and go through the motions. At my worst moments, I was convinced I sucked at beekeeping, couldn’t keep chickens alive, and didn’t deserve to have all the wonderful things in my life. I felt unworthy of existence and utterly pointless.
I’m doing better now but I’m not out of the woods. I don’t want to get too deep into it because it’s personal and this isn’t the ‘Gemma complains about her brain chemistry and resulting feelings’ podcast but I will say that my meds are helping and I’m doing my best.
What surely hasn’t helped all the mental fuckery has been the worsening of my back pain. In the last 6 months or so, I noticed that my lower spine would make crunching noises if I moved in a certain way, and I was suffering with more painful days. I ended up pulling a muscle in my middle back when lifting a bag of bird seed and it was so bad that I couldn’t stand upright for over an hour. After the initial pain, it didn’t feel too bad, except that I felt like I was going to vomit. It scared the hell out of me and my poor husband! Thankfully, he was able to get me heat packs, muscle relaxers, and my pack of emergency steroids. I was standing within a few hours but otherwise spent that whole day (and following night) sleeping. It sucked.
Well, I was eventually sent off for x-rays and I have been diagnosed with mild degenerative disc disease and facet arthropathy (arthritis) in my lower lumbar vertebrae. Objectively, this isn’t the worst news; over 90% of people will have some level of degenerative disc disease by age 60, and it’s not uncommon to see it developing from age 40. At 36, this means it’s just a little earlier than usual. My doctor sent me to physical therapy to learn management techniques. Otherwise, treatment is everything we’re already doing: NSAIDs, heat, gentle exercise (swimming, yoga, walking), steroids for flares, muscle relaxers as needed, and keeping my weight down (working on it! Damn you, pandemic pounds!).
I’ve started brainstorming ways I can work in the garden and the apiary without putting too much strain on my back. The days when I just powered through the discomfort and pain need to be put squarely behind me if I want to slow down future degeneration so I need to really modify how I’ve been behaving. I don’t lift heavy objects off the ground anymore so going to the feed store now involves bringing my husband along to do the lifting, or asking a worker to help me load the cart and then my car. I hate it. I hate asking for help. I’m still struggling with the mentality that needing to ask for help makes me a burden. I hope that, the more I do it, the easier it becomes.
And to really add to all this fun and good times, I had a cancer scare over Christmas. A routine health check led to the discovery of two lumps in my right breast, and I was sent in for a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. Thankfully, I was given the all clear. Hurrah! Unfortunately, my family history and breast composition means that I am considered high risk for breast cancer in future, and I was referred back to the breast clinic to discuss future monitoring methods, as well as additional testing (genetic testing, breast MRI, etc). To my great relief, my genetic test results came back negative for all known mutations. Due to this, my doctor and I agreed that I’d have a breast MRI this summer and then won’t need another until after age 40. I’ll also have a mammogram every year along with my regular breast exam.
It was a huge relief to know that I do not have any gene mutations, especially the BRCA 1 & 2 mutations. With those, the chance of breast cancer is so high that it’s recommended women undergo a double mastectomy and removal of the ovaries (usually after age 40). I originally felt mostly okay with the hypothetical of removing both my breasts but, as I waited for my test results, I realised that I actually had a lot of strong feelings about the procedure, and I’m very glad that I will not be facing that.
Reminder here for everyone to do monthly breast exams, including men. Yes, men can also get breast cancer, although it’s not really talked about. If a member of your immediate family has had breast or colon cancer, you might be at higher risk. Smush those tatas to protect your health!
Click here to read a CDC article on hereditary breast cancer.
2022 Goals
So with all that depressing baggage out of the way, what goals have I set for myself this year? Primarily, I need to focus on my health and learn to adapt things so that I can avoid straining my back. I also need to keep working on my mental health in therapy, and hopefully get through this slump.
Some more concrete goals:
Build/buy a Long Langstroth. Horizontal hives require less heavy lifting, and I am curious to see how this works in terms of management.
Keep focusing on health in my colonies, including a strong build up for nucleus colonies (via feeding, mite treatments, regular inspections, etc).
Get more chickens! Yes, I have my sweet pullets, including one who turned out to be a rooster, but I’ve already ordered 6 more for pick up in March: 2 Welsummers, 2 Easter Eggers, and 2 frizzle Easter Eggers. I am so excited and can hardly wait!
Expand the corn patch, try my hand at growing cucumbers, and see about getting a pumpkin patch established.
Buy more peonies since I enjoy them so much.
Continue to plant sunflowers and wildflowers everywhere I can.
Deal with that poor neglected side bed!! This one will keep going on the list until I actually get it done. After speaking to my husband about it, I’ve decided to hire a landscaping company to do the hard work here. There’s just too much to do and I know it will hurt my back. This way, I can pay some professionals to set up an easy to maintain, lovely to look at area. Yes, it chaps my hide to be a homesteader paying others to do my gardening but this is a compromise that I think is fair to make. I’ve already been in touch with a designer who specializes in pollinator gardens and we’ve taken the first step to get things done. I’m excited!
Investigate tools and equipment that might help with weeding and heavy lifting in the garden.
Learn to knit! I signed up for a class already and it’s going pretty well. Crocheting still feels more natural but I’m hoping to keep improving with my knitting.
Learn to spin! This one is dependent on time but I’d love to do this.
Continue learning about fiber arts, and making things that make me happy.
Get back into swimming regularly now that the gym is open again.
Visit my bestie in Canada as soon as it’s safe to do so. Trip planned as soon as Newfoundland announced they’re opening up! I cannot wait to see her again.
Visit my mum and brother in England.
So that’s where I’m at! I’m sorry it’s a bit of a bummer update but it is what it is. I still have high hopes for the bees and chickens and my garden this year, and I will continue to work on my health so that I can enjoy as much of life as possible.
Moving forward through winter/early Spring, I’ll probably post one episode a month since little is happening on the homestead. Once Spring is in full swing, I hope to get back to my every 2 weeks schedule.
Thank you so much for sticking with me! I really appreciate each and every one of you, and I hope you and yours are staying safe and healthy, wherever you are.
Until next time, remember, hug your hens and then wash your hands.
